HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
