youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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