I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
