So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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