Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
