Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
