please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
