I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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