I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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