dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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