i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
This house was built for laser tag.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
