were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Randomize
