So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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