How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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