So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize