Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
