Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
