I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
