Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
