Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
