My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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