you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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