it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
