you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
