you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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