Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
