ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Even my vagina gasped.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
