And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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