Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
