if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
