On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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