first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
soo... how was my night?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
