Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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