Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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