Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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