We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
