You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize