I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize