Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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