It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
