and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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