And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize