tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
