16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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