I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize