Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
