dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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