Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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