So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
