I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize