All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
