Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
