hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
