its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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