Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
