her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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