My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
