Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize